Baby Blues

Yup, I think I may be having them right this moment. Casey is working nights tonight and I just was over at a close friends blog (you know who you are) and checking out her adorable family. Well, I have been handing down Jada's clothes to her little girl and I thought it was going to be so cute and exciting to see them on another baby. And it totally is!! So glad that I gave them to a good use. It is amazing to see them on another beautiful baby. But right now, in this moment, I am totally on the edge of tears. I so want a baby. We just had my Dad & Stepmom (Grandpa & Grandma Hancock) over for supper to celebrate Jada's Birthday, and I cant believe that my baby is no longer a baby. She is entering the preschooler age group. 3 years have already gone by. It made me really stop and enjoy my kids today.

For example, when Sara & Eric are outside and I am inside doing dishes, which has the window facing the backyard and I can see them, they are constantly yelling at me "MOM, watch this, watch me watch me" On and on!! And normally I get frustrated with them (on the inside) Its hard to watch both of them doing totally different things while doing the dishes, and Jada at my feet asking me to watch her as well. But today, I just had that moment of AHHHH.

I better enjoy this time of them wanting me to watch them. One day they might be trying to hide from me (which I totally hope wont happen). But they wont always want me around all the time. So, my big saddness has brought on a new clarity. I need not focus on what I dont have (a little baby in cute clothes), but what I do have, and that is 3 very beautiful, creative, talented, wonderful, amazing, loving, bickering, squabbling, needy, growing children and they need me to be here with them now.

Also, what helped the most come out of the teariness, was the phone call from that really great friend. It's like she knows when I need to hear her encouragments. Thanks friend!! Now I could be teary because I have such a great friend. Ahh!! Time for bed.